We do the task together
Your child participates while you provide significant physical, visual or verbal support.
The Independence Ladder
Independence is not all or nothing.
There are lots of useful steps between doing everything for your child and expecting them to do the whole task alone.
Sometimes the next step is simply doing one tiny bit less.
Support can be part of how independence grows.
A different question
Don't ask “Can they do the whole thing?”
Ask: “Which part could they do with slightly less help?”
Start with one routine
Where are you both today?
Pick an everyday task, then tap the rung that looks most like your family right now.
Getting dressed
You hold the clothing open while your child pushes their arm through, or you both pull the pants up together.
The next tiny shift
What could you do slightly differently?
Look for one part where you can reduce how much physical help you provide.
Before you step back, notice what is making this hard.
- Is balance making part of dressing difficult?
- Does your child know what comes next?
- Can both hands work together effectively?
- Are particular clothing sensations uncomfortable?
- Does the routine become much harder when everyone is rushing?
A pause for you too
Stepping back can feel uncomfortable.
Especially when you know you could finish the task faster yourself.
A small pause
You do not need to fix anything for the next few seconds. If breathing cues feel helpful, follow the circle as it grows and softens again.
Breathing is optional. You can also simply watch the circle move.
The bit to remember
Your child can move up and down the ladder.
Tiredness, illness, stress, a new environment or a harder version of the task can mean they need more support again.
That does not erase the progress they have already made.